November roared in with all the hope and enthusiasm a presidential election can generate. Barack Obama had been in office for the last four years. I've found him to be very likable on a personal level, and brilliant at speaking and connecting with his audience. I believe he has a compassionate heart. However, I disagree with several of his philosophies including and especially his attitude toward debt and his solutions to it. I don't believe in debt in most situations. Though pundits, politicians and scholars will tell me that economical cycles are complicated, I truly believe that the microcosm of my family can be applied to larger human systems. I don't believe debt is solved by more debt. And I don't believe that relying on wealthy relatives to relieve your debt, rather than making sacrifices and negotiations can be best and only answer. It might be one part of a larger solution, but its not a responsible solution in and of itself. I've seen it up close and personal. Expecting only those with abundance to help solve a collective problem actually atrophies the abilities of those who have less but are not expected to help. It's happened to me, and it was alarming. We respect and honor people when we expect them to contribute to a solution. We degrade them and shrink their vision of themselves when we relieve them of their piece of responsibility.
Elections always matter. This one mattered a lot. I spent an hour making phone calls for Mitt Romney. I wish I'd done more. The night of November 6th rolled around. We knew Romney was the underdog, but there was that hope that America would surprise us. The kids had lots of questions. Why did I want Mitt Romney to win? Why do some people want President Obama to win? What are taxes anyway? The kids made'Go Mitt' signs with maps of America and Texan flags and we decked the kitchen out. I told them that someday they might to vote differently than I do, and that would be ok. All I ask is that they think it over, and that they DO vote.
Here's the handiwork.
They went to bed before the results rolled in. I told them the next morning that President Obama won. What would that mean? They wanted to know. Would we have to pay more taxes? I told them I wasn't sure exactly. I have a feeling of foreboding, that dread when something bad is coming your way. However, I also have peace, rooted in faith. Not that there won't be consequences to the election, but that the greater purposes of the Lord roll forward no matter the circumstance of the world.
The second week in November my Grandma Faunda Ree Hatch passed away.
She was had been transferred to a nursing home and suddenly fell ill. She did not suffer, and passed away within a few days. I traveled to Utah for her funeral. It was a blessed trip, made possible by Freeman who picked up the slack and home and several family members that sacrificed to help with kids.
I spent all day Thursday with my sister, and we found the perfect gift for Dad. I had dinner with my brother and wife and their two cute kids. Zachy and Trevy are EXCEPTIONALLY cute. I spent several hours chatting it up with my other brother in the car as we drove, he was so considerate to share his car with me. We disagree about a lot of things philosophically, but we both try to extend the courtesy of expression and owning your opinion to one another. It was wonderful to be with him. We had moments of understanding, and I feel like our friendship is so valuable. I hope he could feel my love and my honesty.
The funeral was beautiful. Dad gave her life sketch. He said, “She was raised on a farm near Rexburg, Idaho, where she learned how to work. She tromped hay on the wagon and threw hay up on the wagon, ran the derrick horse that lifted the hay onto the stack and just before she was married she plowed a field for her father. When she was married her father promised her she could take his car on her honeymoon if she would come back and work. She went on her honeymoon for two days and then came back home and worked for four days.”
He told the story of Grandma when she first was engaged to a man before she knew Grandpa. She brought the Catholic fellow home to meet her father and her father did not like him. He told Grandma that if she married the man, he would shoot him. Certain that he was being funny or melodramatic, she replied that he couldn't shoot him because her fiance would die and her Dad would go to jail. Without any expression her father said he'd prefer that than to have her marry the wrong man. Grandma was furious but broke off the engagement. Note to self, its ok to have strong opinions about my children's fiances??
Dad said, “She still had a broken heart and was a little bitter and was not in the mood to entertain another soldier, but when she met him (Grandpa Hatch) he was very handsome and since they were in a one room apartment she didn’t have a choice so she sat down to talk (he had come to visit with her sister, who was engaged to Grandpa Hatch’s brother). Mom’s mother was there and said to father, “Maybe some pretty young thing will sit by you on the way [ to Fort Lewis] and change the course of your life.” He looked at mother and said to her mother, “I’ve already found the girl that will change the course of my life.” Mother “scowled” and her mother took a breath. Later father said he knew when he saw her she was the one he wanted to marry. “
“While they were dating they had a funny experience. They took a romantic walk down the lane and when they came to High Creek he offered to carry her across. He carried her over and set her down under a tree in the shade. It was perfect. It was romantic. Then she felt something warm underneath her. “What did you set me on?” she asked. “Nothing”, he said. She put her hand underneath her dress and felt a fresh cow pie. It was on her fingers and on her dress. Romance fled. Despite the cow pie and the fact that father got a bloody nose on their first kiss, they were married in the Idaho Falls temple on September 11, 1946.”
And this might be my very favorite story of all time about Grandma Faun: “Mother also taught us the importance of communication. Once when she came home from a trip she expected the family to greet her with excitement and love. Instead when she came in the door father was on the phone and he waived when she came in and we children were down stairs watching “Tarzan”. She was disappointed and thought maybe she should pout to teach us a lesson, but then a quiet thought came into her mind that said, “You can still have your homecoming if you wait patiently until they come and then explain to them what you want.” When we did come to her room she expressed her love and happiness to see us and then said she wanted a happy home coming and asked if she went back out to the car and came back in the house if we would all run out the front door and greet her excitedly. She asked us each to say something such as “Look, Mom is home” and “We missed you so much” and “Did you bring us anything?” She asked dad to say, “Things are not the same when you are gone.” A miracle happened. We all played our role and laughed together. There was no opportunity for the adversary to darken our reunion with the spirit of gloom. She said “The feeling of [gloom] that prevails when mother pouts and no one knows why creates sad little faces, confused husbands, and guarantees a heavy spirited atmosphere which is a perfect playground for the adversary.” She also said, “It is difficult to read the human mind. I have found that my family is willing, and often excited, to give me almost anything I need if I am willing to explain what I want.”
Aunt Shelley talked about the home Grandma Faun created. Grandma had tremendous social talent. She was always laughing. She made everyone around her feel seen, accepted, loved, and listened to. And she just made everything funny. Shelly recounted that the addage "Out of life's dreariness, into its cheeriness, come we in weariness, home" was so very true of their home. Their home was full of joy, laughter, love, and understanding. Grandma and Grandpa were dedicated to family home evening, family prayer, and always ate together as a family. Grandma lined the kids up at the window every morning to wave bye to their father as he left for work and gathered them to shout "hurray!" three times every evening when Grandpa came home. She was almost always cheerful and sang much of the day. When she wasn't cheerful, she was quick to apologize. She loved to teach her children and Shelley remembers Grandma pulling out a sheet of butcher paper and taping it to the pantry door, and writing the 12 tribes of Israel so the children could memorize them. She was ALWAYS seeking spiritual learning and sharing what she learned with others, right up until her death.
Stan also spoke and expressed the reassurance he’d felt of the spirit that Grandma would be allowed to be part of the heavenly workers that would serve, bless, and guard her children, grandchildren, and posterity. What a wonderful gift.
I sat in the funeral and soaked it all in. I watched Dad and his four siblings, sitting together at the graveside, 2 men and 3 women, holding hands, hearts full of loss and love, but mostly full of appreciation and gratitude . I looked over the congregation of grandchildren and great-grandchildren, people so full of Grandma’s passionate, loving, vivacious spirit. The Moores and their children, Stan’s children, Katie and Dallas, Matt and Haley, Stacey and her husband. Johnny, Stephen, Denise and I. Grandma and Grandpa didn’t aspire to church offices. Grandma spoke lovingly about all her family, whether in the church or out. They were humble followers of Christ who let the joy of love and family permeate their lives. I felt so strongly that her life was a tremendous success, having raised such a LOVING family, having created so much joy with them. That is what God intends for us. Joy.
My dear Grandpa Lane, my mother’s father also has failing health. They do not expect him to survive another month. I visited him with Johnny. He is unable to walk now, and is recovery from pneumonia, but has stage 4 heart failure. Johnny and I peppered him with questions and I wanted to record some details I didn’t know about him.
- He was named Lane after his Uncle John Lane. This uncle was a funny guy and teased his sister when he came to see the baby, “That’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!” She replied, “Well, then, I’ll name him after you!”
- When the bishop gave him a blessing (bishops, not fathers, did this in those days) he named him “Elaina Alberta” and had to be corrected!
- He would have been sent to Japan when he was in the army, but he had hay fever, so they kept him in the states. Instead, he painted garbage cans in an army camp in Texas and then eventually trained as a surgical technician. He slept on the surgery table every third night because the surgery room was the only air conditioned room on base! He would have been made an officer, but had poor eyesight so couldn’t be advanced. However, he was the best target shooter in his cavalry.
- He passed his undergrad science test by one point! He thought he’d failed by one point, but then after examining it, found the professor had made a mistake, worthy two points, and barely passed!
- He said about his mother, Margaret, “She was the most wonderful woman in the world. I could tell her anything, which I didn’t feel with my father. She was listening, inviting, had a way to calm my fears. She had a magnetic personality. She also had a gift for natural healing and nursed many people back to health, free of charge.”
Johnny said to Grandpa, “I’ve always respected you for being a scientist. Could you tell me about the role science has played in your gaining knowledge and learning about the world?” Grandpa had been “confused” according to the nurses the day before. It was poignant to hear him answer authentically and clearly. He said that there had been a scientist in Europe who had a theory he believed he had proved called ionization. The scientific world rejected him and his idea. When he applied to school to gain his doctorate, the school rejected him because of this theory. Years later, other scientists proved this theory to be true. A scientist requires evidence to believe something is true. There have been many scientists who believe there is God and have faith. There have also been many scientists who do not believe. What is evidence to one man is not evidence to another.
We also asked Grandpa what is the secret to a happy marriage. I expected him to give a list, or say that it is hard to boil down. He smiled and said, “I have a ready answer for you. One word. Kindness.” And he has been as perfect an example of kindness in marriage that I have ever known. I never heard him speak an unkind word to or about Grandma. Even when she had her first stroke and became easily sharp and irritated, Grandpa’s kindness was unfailing.
What a heritage I have.
